it's all beeyooteefool -





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alena. girl. christian.
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14 Jan 1991
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& austria
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September 29, 2006
@5:17 PM

one DOWN, seven to go.

so la exam was today! and it was actually quite fun to do in general, i must say, although im sure i flunked it with the way i was going on about how the yellow ribbon project is love and that convicts should be given multiple chances. markers are going to think im an idealistic little girl. then i was rattling about social inequality and jaded mistrust between individuals, which im certain has no connection with the unseen poem whatsoever, but oh well! compre was crap, i'd be happy just to passe.

got back ca2 and sia marks, am rather disappointed with the former and absolutely elated with the latter, remind me to remind our juniors to take smp in the future! :) love. then went off to cheronne initially meaning to go to bras basah to get stuff for ym, missed the stop and ended up at suntec instead so we went to CANDY EMPIRE! bought chocolate for ourselves, then went to suntec foodcourt (there actually is a foodcourt!) and met ym's sister.

on the whole, an interesting day of sorts.

& i embraced the world;




September 21, 2006
@10:06 PM

a long overdue picture which is much <3,
our teacher's day present for clee
done by jasmine with an ONION
photo courtesy of msng.

please tell me you can spot the resemblance!



NY FOOD AND FUNFAIR '06!
a heck lot of fun & being very busy.
here's a pic towards the end of the funfair, when we resorted to BUSKING!


(this was the initial setup but it expanded to about 10 people later on)
hoho, we earned 50 bucks from that okay.


-

enough rubbish. meanwhile, its quite sad that they're demolishing gep in sec schools in 2 years time, although i suppose it's understandable and most of the geppers have opted for ip anyway, but gep is still an identity! elitist if you wish. because as annie says, being a gepper is a BOND FOR LIFE! :) i'll miss having the gep tag (although i was technically only a gepper for half a year in primary school because i floated off to shanghai).

because we're
kool.

also, i have found my new love - brahms. (yes he even pwns taiwanese idol dramas! which btw, i really like although they're brainless and all about goodlooking leads, with unrealistic storylines and exaggerated acting, but they're still nice.) see, brahms was believed to have an affair with clara schumann, and apparently he was seriously in love with her but clara was hopelessly devoted to robert schumann, so. in all his pieces there's this element of broodiness that's absolutely gorgeous and even in major-key pieces one can feel the underlying hollowness and that's what makes it beautiful.

& i am that pathetic - was practicing the brahms piece i've just been given, which i play at onethird the speed and have to stop every three bars and i actually cried. never knew i was that sentimental hahaha and although i was playing utter crap the melody and the meaning behind all the discords and harmony in all its temperamental, tempestuous moods was affecting and gah. feels ridiculous now, but just goes to show that there's magic in the world.

jiayou for exams! i'm against hiatus-ing during exam period, it RELIEVES STRESS. :)


& i embraced the world;




September 16, 2006
@1:11 AM

on bananas;

thursday after school on the bus, met kay yun & she told me this:

during lifeskills camp got 5 days right, mr ______ wore dark green on the first day, light green on the second day, yellow on the third day, white on the fourth day and black on the fifth day. which means raw banana, unripe banana, ripe banana, the inside of the banana, and a rotten banana!

today during the ysc rehearsals, while in the lt waiting for our turn to rehearse,

brenda: i think our slides and presentations are a bit boring.
me: yeah, but there really isnt any way to brighten it up.
brenda: oh we could do the banana in pyjamas dance - starts humming banana in pyjamas -
me: hahahahahahaha and that has everything to do with our presentation because?
brenda: because we're in our banana suits!

(for kristin and li-en, our school blazer's a banana yellow colour, so yeah.)

later, when mrs wong was looking for someone to get ny's certs,

me: brenda can you go please please please?
brenda: why? i dont want to!
me: but you have more experience!
brenda: but i've only worn court shoes twice.
me: i havent worn them at all! i just know i'm going to slip and fall on stage while walking up.
brenda: you could pretend you slipped on a BANANA skin!

then when i told jiawei all that & we were discussing possible future professions for myself later, he suggested if i can't be all the stuff i want to be i can go be banana in pj's voiceover, a female version!

i think im developing a prominent double chin, oh no. & i haven't studied with 100% concentration yet, exams are in two weeks' time ARGH. more pressing matters at hand however. shall go memorise script for ysc tomorrow if not liza will strangle me although i bought oreo wafer sticks for her! whee wish us luck for tomorrow's presentation kay. MUST PWN THE DHS/RI/SCGS groups who's in our concurrent presentation group! although they're all nice people :)

& i embraced the world;




September 8, 2006
@10:29 PM

& life has no promise but death;

to all those who are grieving or mourning over the loss of a loved one.

perhaps i have no right to speak, as an outsider; perhaps death has never touched me with its icy grasp as hard as it has for many others, but i do know that death is not a trigger for depression, rather, the loss is a stimulant for us to live life in its entirety, to breathe in the smell of earth and grass before we are lying in it, to smile & touch other people's lives so that your memory remains even if you are gone, to feel all the emotions in the world before we are numb.

please keep them in your prayers, both the lost & the ones who lost.

-

on to less morbid issues, today's been a wonderful day. didn't go to school, went out with dad & sis for the entire afternoon! bought another set of liang2 yu3 sheng1's wuxiaxiaoshuos, YES i'm going to be broke soon it's like the fourth i've bought in a week. gulp. & guess what i saw, bai2 fa4 mo2 nv3 zhuan4 selling at tsvision @ tiongbahru, the one i've been searching for for eons! hoho. love. will go buy sometime next week. :)

whee the potc soundtrack is gorgeous. except i really cant figure out why there is a WALTZ in it.

mum saw my musicessentials membership card and nearly fainted, apparently i look much worse in it than i thought i did. hoho just a reminder to all people taking photos never ever to sniff when you're posing in front of the camera even if you have a terrible cold. basically your mouth goes wonky, you look like you're crying, your nose looks skewed, your neck bones stick out in a very unnatural way and your entire head tilts. not good.

monster house is a cute movie! my gosh steven spielberg & his animations are the rock.

today's another one of the days i feel like hugging everyone i meet. which is very rare, but a nice warm feeling. shall settle with hugging my pillow for now while i scurry off to read. YES IM STILL NOT IN MUGGING MOOD YET. diediedie.

oh, i found this on a quotes website, said by henry scott holland, whoever he is, thought it was quite pretty, so here you go!

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you;
Whatever we were to each other,
That we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.

-

& i embraced the world;




September 7, 2006
@10:42 PM

& we will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand;

holidays so far have been decidedly unproductive.

as i told lynette, my entire natural clock has been thrown completely off-balance rather like pluto's off-course orbit. (& as you can see, i've also become even lamer than usual. gah.) i sleep at all hours, all lengths, eat at strange times & with random amounts. i feel tired after a ten hour nap and energised after two.

the first mugging i've done in the entire week is today, five minutes ago when i decided to start working on some log problems. will continue later after blogging, i promise! see why i suck, it seems that every other soul except mine has started burying their heads in books, assessments & revision. oh woe.

someone tell me why even my tone of speaking has changed.

so far i've spent my week either in school, with extra lessons & cca, just stoning around, and reading wuxia books & watching qijianxiatianshan! which is still so much love. liang2 yu3 sheng1 really really rocks, his characters come completely to life in front of you! oh btw, shall introduce you to my bass clarinet!




yep, can't see from the photo, it's all quite battered & old with dents everywhere. but it's still a lot of love! except i have no idea where my mouthpiece fluttered to, so i've been borrowing jialun (my bass clarinet junior who is tonnes tonnes tonnes better than me & has like 3 years more experience) 's b-clarinet, and it's so sparkly shiny & new! really pretty too, except because it's new i need to keep cork-greasing it which is rather annoying because cork grease is PINK & it's annoyingly sticky. why can't people just use soap!

& playing with her bass clarinet really rocks man, i can reach HIGH HIGH C sometimes! WHOOPEE, considering i could only reach high C on my own bass clarinet it's quite an accomplishment. but still, i reckon i really suck & learn uber slowly, need to practice a lot more except i can't, because the mouthpiece is gone. GRRSH.

also,
mr lee is officially teh rock. he's like so nice & patient & i dont know, just nice & patient? plus he really cared :) . meanwhile, i'm probably causing the band exco plenty of problems so yikes. still contemplating about ldp, am quite worried because im already this sucky i obviously need whatever practice i need for bassclarinet, & ldp will rob me of 1/3 of cca time from jan-april, that is if i get in but ARGH.

family day tomorrow! dad's taking half a day off so we can go watch a movie near my mum's workplace & then we'll eat satay for dinner yay :) was thinking of watching either devilwearsprada or singaporedreaming, but remembered my sister's 9 so decided on
monster house! kuz steven spielberg is awesome.

-

back to logarithms, which is quite fun except for the graphs. GRAPHS BE THE WOE OF MY LIFE, & e only part of math i dislike. don't see the point in them. what's the point of knowing the asymptotes of a certain function i mean just WORK IT OUT algebraically & get an answer. a solid standard numerical answer not random lines drawn on random coordinates that nobody knows how to read or cares about.


& i embraced the world;




September 3, 2006
@1:37 PM

& they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love -

i know i've said this a million times, but church really beats all. music can make me cry and prance around in exultation or fall into a daze, but church changes me. perhaps it's the calming presence of God amongst us, or the power of worship & sermons, the silent meditation & prayer, but i love coming out from church knowing that a part of me is better, or at least, will strive to be better.

mostly i love knowing true love, the only kind of its sort that comes from our Lord, the love between the brothers and sisters in Christ, the love when the pastor shakes our hand, or when the speaker stands in the pulpit & talks. the love that's present when im walking alone on a road on the way home, the love that surrounds me when im sitting in my room chionging homework, the love that forces itself upon me when i see how God has touched the lives of so many, the love that scares me with its intensity and magnitude. the love that's always there for me, through tears, laughter, anguish, frustration, joy, anger.

and there's no way to repay Him for what He did, except to love Him as well.

:)

listen to our hearts - steven curtis chapman

how do you explain, how do you describe
a love that goes from east to west
and runs as deep as it is wide;

You know all our hopes
Lord You know all our fears
and words cannot express the love we feel
but we long for You to hear;

so listen to our hearts
hear our spirits sing
a song of praise from those You have redeemed;
we will use the words we know
to tell You what an awesome God You are
but words are not enough
to tell You of our love
so listen to our hearts;

if words could fall like rain
from these lips of mine
and if i had a thousand years
i would still run out of time;

so if You listen to my heart
every beat will say
thank You for the life
thank You for the truth
thank You for the way;

so listen to our hearts
hear our spirits sing
the song of praise from those You have redeemed
we will use the words we know
to tell You what an awesome God You are
but words are not enough
to tell You of our love
so listen to our hearts!

-

& i embraced the world;